


The Five People You Meet in Heaven

by chaoticamanda



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Heaven, Hurt/Comfort, implied jily, slightly implied marlius, the five people you meet in heaven - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-17
Updated: 2014-03-17
Packaged: 2018-01-15 03:52:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1290274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticamanda/pseuds/chaoticamanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are five people you meet in Heaven, five people with a lesson to teach. Sirius Black has five people, just like anybody else. He doesn't know who, not until he dies, that is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Blackness was the last thing Sirius remembered for sure, but there was also a sense that he was falling. When he hit the ground, he felt different, as if every emotion he’d ever felt had left him. All he remembered was his godson, panicked and distracted, not noticing the Death Eater behind him. Harry was unaware that Bellatrix was going for the kill, and so Sirius shouted...but he couldn’t remember anything after that. 

When he first opened his eyes, he was more than confused. He was laying on a plush lawn, the lawn where he’d spent the better of his life; Hogwarts. The lake was slowing ebbing up and down the shore, an unusually crystal clear. It intrigued him because it had only ever been murky in his time. This intrigue is what pulled him from the ground and to the water’s edge. 

Sirius felt younger, like he was seventeen again and laughing about something stupid with his friends. The reflection in the water looked like a memory from forever ago; with well-kept hair and and a clean-shaven face. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Sirius whirled around, reaching automatically for his wand, but it was not where he usually kept it. An old man stood behind him, body aged with the lines of a million memories. The man was clearly a wizard, what with his brilliant blue and gold robes. Sirius tried to speak, but his voice would not come. The wizard seemed to know this and stepped closer. 

“Nobody can ever talk when they first get here,” the man brushed his long white curls from his face, “Helps people listen, or so I’ve been told.” Sirius settled for slowly mouthing his words, cautious and more serious than he’d ever been at Hogwarts. “Where are you? You’re in Heaven, of course. You’ve died, Mr. Black.”

Deep down he knew it, that he was dead, but it still felt like a blow to the chest. How could he leave Harry like that? He looked back at the wizard, trying to form clear words. “Who am I? My name is Headmaster Armando Dippet, but I suppose that was before your time.”

Sirius could not for the life of him, or maybe it was death now, figure out why Armando Dippet would be meeting him in Heaven. Dippet did not need a cue, but instead began explaining himself. “I’m here to teach you a lesson. There are five people you meet in Heaven, and they’ll all have something for you. I’m the first, obviously. 

“When I was young, I never saw such beauty as I did at Hogwarts, and I never wanted to leave. Eventually I got my wish and became Headmaster of this magnificent school. You see, this is not the heaven, this is my heaven. I loved this castle, but my students did not love me. Often I had to set harsh rules to enforce order, but I loved the students as well as the castle. They gave it life, made it what it was. I know there were teachers who disagreed with my methods, but I was trying to do the best that I could. Education is vital, and some of my students could not grasp that.” Dippet paused. Sirius could not ever imagine a man with such rosy cheeks to be harsh, but he knew not everyone was what they seemed. He’d learned that the hard way. “I met a woman once, who had just given birth to a young boy. She came to the school with her husband and son, her husband working for the Ministry. While he did his work, she told me of her son and she told me of all her dreams for him. Her name was Walburga.”

In the blink of an eye, they were standing in Dumbledore’s office, minus almost a century. Sirius found himself looking at the baby version of himself in his mother’s arms. She was speaking excitedly, and he moved closer to hear what she was saying, “He’s going to be so handsome, what with both mine and his father’s looks! I bet he’ll just be smart enough to make Head Boy, a good Slytherin Head Boy is in desperate need here-”

Sirius turned away, his chest clenching. His mother had never spoken to him like that, only shrill shrieks and poorly disguised insults. She never loved him. She never cared. A hand fell on his shoulder, and Dippet murmured, “We’ve all done something we regret, something wrong. We all show love in different ways. You must...let it go. The past is in the past.”

“She never loved me,” Sirius spat, surprised at his own voice. Apparently his silent spell was broken. “She never acted like a mother to me.”

“All mothers love their children, whether they want to or not.” Sirius closed his eyes, unwilling to let the words sink into him. He only opened them when he heard the sound of waves and seagulls, and felt the world shift beneath his feet. 

“Hey, stranger.” 

Sirius whirled around, his heart beating wildly. A woman with wavy blonde hair stood behind him, a soft smile on her face. She opened her arms like she wanted a hug and Sirius did not deny. “Marlene,” he breathed into her shoulder, almost afraid to believe that it was real. 

“That’s right,” she laughed, “It’s me, in the flesh. Or...maybe not.”

“I’m sorry,” the words tumbled from his mouth and he was afraid to let go. Her laughter died away and she sighed, pulling away from him. 

“You silly prat, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” Everything about her was delicate, and he’d forgotten how she’d always set her hands on her hips, no matter what she was talking about. But she was wrong, he had everything to be sorry about. 

“You’re dead,” he whispered, closing his eyes. It was his fault. They’d traded order shifts and things had gone awry. Marlene had died in a fight that Sirius would have originally been scheduled to take part in. If he’d taken that shift, then maybe things would have been different. Maybe a lot of things would have been different. 

“So are you,” She pouted. “Black, it’s not your fault. Besides, I’m happy here. There’s no war, no drama, nothing but sun and ocean.”

“Where are we?” he asked, looking around. He’d never been here, never been on a vacation at all, actually. His parents were not the sunny type, and after school had only been war. 

“My parent's beach house,” she said offhandedly. “You’re a good person, you know that?”

“I’m not,” he looked down at the hot sand. “I...I’ve killed people.” I was practically the one who killed you. 

“We were fighting a war,” her face became dark, the smile slipping from her face. “Lots of people died, at least we were killing the bad guys.” Sirius made a noncommittal sound, kicking at the sand. Marlene put her hand on his arm, willing him to look at her. “You saved people too, Black.” 

His eyes widened, and he asked frantically, “Harry! Did I save Harry?” Little bits and pieces of the moments before his death were coming back to him, but it was like being stuck in quicksand. 

“Harry?” she asked, tilting her head in the way she always did when she was confused. “Harry who?”

“Harry Potter,” he murmured, his heart falling. Of course Marlene had died before Lily had announced she was pregnant. He assumed there was no way to see what was going on on Earth in Heaven, and if he was being honest with himself, he didn't know why anyone would want to. “My godson.” 

“Lily had a baby?” Marlene exclaimed, her eyes bright once more. “That’s great! Oh, how are they?”

Sirius felt a lump in his throat, but Marlene was looking at him expectantly. “James and Lily died a few months after Harry turned one...they were betrayed. Harry...Harry’s around fifteen now.”

“No…” Marlene’s face fell, “No.”

They were silent. Finally, after staring at the orange horizon for a few moments, Marlene spoke, "No matter what you think, it wasn't your fault." 

"It was," emotions came out of him in a tumble and he seemed to sag. "I was the one who gave up being the secret keeper! I could've saved them." These thoughts had plagued him for more than twelve years. Every time he closed his eyes, James and Lily's broken bodies tormented him, blaming him. 

Marlene gave him a sad smile, moving so that she was directly in front of him. "I could always read you like a book, Sirius Black," she cradled his face in her hands, "You never listen to me, but you need to now. Let it go. You are a good person, and you need to realize that." 

Sirius looked at her, tears in his eyes. "I miss you, Marlene."

She gave him another soft and sad smile, "It's time to go, Black."

He looked at her weakly, desperate for one last reassurance. His voice should have been lost to the waves, but she heard him, probably expected it. "See you later, alligator."

Marlene leaned in close, pressing her lips to his cheek. He screwed his eyes shut, trying to hold back the tears. "In a while, crocodile." Her voice was only a ghost, and Sirius was no longer standing on the beach. 

He didn't know how long he stood there for, but he couldn't open his eyes. When he finally wrenched them open, he still felt the hurt and pain that Marlene's death had caused him, but a numbness was dulling it. It scared him, because the last time he'd felt this, he'd been about to kill one of his former best friends. 

Sirius was standing in a muggle backyard unlike one he'd seen before. Kids could be heard laughing inside the white paneled house in front of him. A sliding door was closest to Sirius, so he walked forward cautiously. Inside little girls were singing "Happy Birthday" and a tall man and a woman stood by, gazing fondly at one of them. 

Sirius figured maybe he was in the wrong place, because he didn't recognize anyone in the house. But the man looked up and met his eyes just as he was about to turn away. The man gestured for Sirius to come in, so he did, albeit slowly. The wife did not look away, did not even notice the door open. 

"I've been waiting for you," The man had an American accent and apparently, did not waste any time. "My name's Conner, Conner Jacobs." 

"I don't know you," Sirius said awkardly, shifting his weight.

"I know you," he replied simply, "I knew you for a brief time when I was alive."

Sirius was racking his brain, trying to find Conner somewhere in his memory. The only muggles that he knew the names of were the people he'd met at Lily's wedding, but none of them were named Conner. Conner looked away from the party, and said softly, “Let me show you.”

They were on a stone street, standing across from a grouping of shops. Dread was slowly engulfing Sirius, because he could see Conner now, the alive one. He could also see himself...and Peter. It felt rude to look away, but Sirius couldn’t watch. He’d seen it enough times in his dreams to know it almost word for word. The world seemed to pause right before the explosion, and Sirius swallowed the bile in his throat. “I killed you.”

“Yes,” Conner said thoughtfully, “You did.”

“I...I’m sorry, sir,” Guilt engulfed Sirius, a feeling he was well versed in. But what do you say to a person you killed?

“I was in Europe on business. I had two daughters, a beautiful wife, everything I could ask for,” Conner smiled ruefully, “I only realized that afterwards, though. When I was alive, I worried about money, I worried about how I could support my family if things went south. And they were, God knows they were. My wife and I...we had a few disagreements, things were getting tough. I came to Europe to look for a new place to start over, to get us back on our feet.

“I guess I got what I asked for,” he laughed softly to himself, but Sirius felt like tearing himself in two. “When I got here, to Heaven, I realized that things...things don’t always have to be such a big deal, you know? Some distance...some distance can make things seem small, and sometimes you realize that’s all they ever were.”

“Conner…” Sirius still felt like throwing up, and he couldn’t wipe the disgust off of his face. “You shouldn’t have died...you’re family…”

“My family,” Conner smiled, albeit sadly, “was better off without me. My life insurance would have been enough to support them, and I wasn’t always the best dad, or the best husband.”

Sirius was silent, but Conner faced him, “I forgive you, Sirius Black.”

“Why?” he blurted,heart pounding out confusion. “Why would you forgive me for ruining your life?”

Conner laughed, his hand brushing against his green polo shirt, “Weren’t you listening? You didn’t ruin it. You gave me peace when I never thought I’d ever get any.” 

Sirius looked down at the ground. They were back in Conner’s backyard now. The young man’s hand fell onto Sirius’s shoulder, and he said softly, “You’ve got to stop blaming yourself.” When Sirius didn’t reply, Conner tilted his head and sighed. “You know why things were getting tough? I had cancer in my throat, and it was too late...too late for treatment. So I wanted to find a nice place to wither and die, but I didn’t get that far. I was going to die anyway, you hear me? Hell, we were all going to die someday. The thing is, blame eats away at you, it kills you, so you gotta let it go.” 

“You’re not the first person who’s told me that,” Sirius smiled weakly, running a hand through his hair. It felt soft now, nothing like it had been in Azkaban. He wondered if he could go back just like his hair seemed to have. 

“That’s because we’re right,” Conner laughed, letting his hand slip away. He turned away from Sirius and began walking, but Sirius did not know where to. 

“Where are you going?” He called out, confused once again. 

Conner turned back to smile at him, “I’m not.”

All it took was a blink for Sirius to be in a different place, onto his fourth person or whatever. Of course, this huge manor in front of him was familiar, and if he was being honest with himself, not completely unexpected. Expecting it didn’t make his heart beat slower or his breathing regulate itself, though. Dread and excitement were swirling equally within Sirius and he remained frozen to his spot in front of the door. 

The manor looked the same as the last time Sirius had seen it, right before it was sold. The hedges were green and thriving, and the brick walls were clean and orderly. The door inches from Sirius was still a piercing white, like it had just recently been painted. 

Sirius’ fourth person was not content to let Sirius hem and haw all day it seemed, because that white door opened slowly and Sirius was a little bit sure his heart stopped. Was it ever beating? 

James Potter looked much the same as he had fourteen or fifteen years ago, with his round glasses and disheveled hair. He smiled at his best friend, but Sirius could not do the same. Every sob and tear he’d struggled to keep in had all come up in one wave and was pouring out of him at an alarming rate. James did not say anything, only pulled him into a hug, which only made Sirius cry more. 

Sirius had lost two of his best friends over a decade ago, lost two of the people he considered family, and he’d never gotten over that. He didn’t know how to, and he didn’t exactly have the best environment to try to do so in. But Sirius had resigned himself to the fact that he would never get a hug from his best friend again, never hear Lily’s laughter, never feel the warmth he did whenever he visited their home. Despite those resignations, here he was, clutching his best friend in Heaven. What a world. 

Finally, after many hiccups and sobs later, Sirius pulled away. “James,” he choked.

“Hey, Padfoot. Long time no see,” the stupid git grinned, patting Sirius’ back. 

Sirius nearly started crying again, his chest constricting painfully. He couldn’t go through the motions like he had with Marlene, he couldn’t hold it in anymore. “I miss you guys. I miss you guys so fucking much. Every day- every day I see Remus or I see Harry and-”

“Harry?” James eyes lit up, and it felt odd to place Harry as Sirius knew him as James’ son. There was less than a decade of difference between them now, and James still looked like he was just on the cusp of true adulthood. “Is he alright? He’s...alive?”

Sirius looked at James sadly, the urge to throw up rising. He wasn’t just ready to do this, to speak of the horrors he’d faced, so instead he asked softly, “Are you gonna invite me in?”

“Oh yeah, of course,” James laughed, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Let’s go up to the balcony, the one where we used to sit after mum told us to go to bed and we weren’t tired.” 

James led Sirius through corridors and up stairs that he’d walked a lifetime ago. It felt like a hundred years since they’d been fifteen and sneaking around James’ parents to get snacks from the kitchen and stay up as long as they could. When they were both comfortably seated on the edge of the balcony, Sirius leaning against one of the walls it was attached to and James bestride it. “So,” James began, “I know you didn’t answer my question earlier and I let you avoid it, but we gotta talk, Padfoot.”

“James,” Sirius took a deep breath, knowing that things were about to get complicated. “The curse didn’t work. It rebounded and hit Voldemort instead. Harry left what was left of your cottage with only a scar on his forehead.”

“What?” James peered at Sirius, confusion evident on his face. “Harry survived the killing curse?”

“Twice, I think.” Sirius decided it would just be best to get it all out. “But, before we talk about Harry...it was Peter. I went after Peter, after he gave...gave you and Lily up. I spent twelve years in Azkaban, Prongs.”

James balked at Sirius, clearly taken aback by the news he was being told, but Sirius did not let him ask any questions. “The night you died, Voldemort disappeared and everyone thought he was dead. The war was over. I tried to take Harry, but Hagrid said Dumbledore had a place for him to go. It was Lily’s sister’s. Anyways, I spent twelve years at Azkaban, and then I escaped and I went to Hogwarts to kill Peter. He faked his death and I was framed for your murders…

“Remus was teaching there, Defense. Anyways, we caught Peter, and...then some things happened and Peter got free and I was still framed. But Harry, Harry and his friend Hermione, great girl, they flew up on a Hippogriff and saved me. I’ve been in hiding since, working for the new Order, but then...then Voldemort lured Harry to the Ministry. There was a battle...that’s where my story ends.”

James was quiet for a few minutes, staring at the sky once more. “My son is fighting Voldemort all the time. How old are you?”

“Thirty-six,” Sirius said quietly.

“That means he’s only...fifteen. Merlin…”

“Prongs?”

“Do you remember when we were young, and we used to guess about what we were gonna do when we were older?” James tilted his head, swinging his legs.

“I do,” Sirius said softly.

“I never thought you’d end up like that, Padfoot,” James’ voice was on the cusp of amusement, and the setting sun shined down on them.

“I never thought my best friend would die at twenty-one,” Sirius’ voice was monotone, and he covered his face with his hands. His heart was heavy, and all the pain, the hate, the blame was weighing on him. "I never thought it would be my fault."

"Sirius," James was staring intently at his friend, repeating his name firmly when he did not respond. "Sirius, it's not your fault. It was Voldemort who...killed us. It wasn't you who broke in, and it wasn't you who was pointing the wand at me."

"I suggested Peter," Sirius whispered, "I passed over being the Secret Keeper."

"Lily and I agreed to Peter, Padfoot. It wasn't you. You were, are, my brother. I know that you would never do anything to help Voldemort, you were just trying to do what was best," James hopped down from the balcony, the last light of day illuminating him. "Let it go, Sirius. It was not your fault."

"How? How am I supposed to let that go?" I don't want to let go. The hand fell away from Sirius's face and he looked up at his dead best friend. 

"That's up to you, man," James shrugged, a familiar grin on his face. Sirius could not smile, though. 

"I don't want to go," Sirius croaked, standing despite his words. James pulled him into another hug, clapping him on the back.

"You have to," James said softly, the laughter gone from his voice. "It's going to be okay, Padfoot. You'll be okay. Everyone's okay in the end."

Sirius was silent and James pulled away. Finally Sirius took a deep breath and sighed, "Goodbye, Prongs."

The manor dissolved beneath his feet, but he did not fall. Wind blew around him, but he did not recognize the walls around him. Not until he turned and noticed the gaping space made for the tracks of a train. King's Cross Station had materialized before Sirius, but he did not see any person that had come with it. 

"Hello?" Sirius called, wiping at his cheeks. He wanted to go back, to be with Lily and Marlene and James and everyone else they had lost, and this was his fifth person. Hopefully his heaven would be available next. "Anybody home?"

"Sirius." The voice echoed from behind Sirius and it froze him, dread replacing the fatigue within him. He hadn't heard that voice in seventeen years, maybe more. Sirius couldn't put this off, so he turned slowly, only his feet moving. "I've been waiting a long time here. I guess that's a good thing." 

"Regulus," Sirius swallowed, gazing upon his younger brother. He looked young, which was expected, since he'd died at eighteen. He couldn't stop some of the contempt from showing on his face. 

"Brother mine," Regulus murmured softly, before the corner of his mouth turned up. "You've gotten old." Sirius just looked at him, unsure of what to say. Regulus did not seem troubled, instead moving slowly to a bench that was close to the two and seating himself comfortably. "Do you know why I chose this place?"'

"No," Sirius couldn't imagine why a Death Eater would spend Heaven in a train station when they could be out torturing people. Maybe it wasn't allowed here in heaven. 

"I think I was really happiest the first time we came here for my first year at Hogwarts. I was so excited, I wanted to be just like my big brother." Regulus' voice was amused, and he did not look at Sirius. "That all changed after we actually got on the train. I was alone from there." 

Sirius didn't know what to say. They couldn't change the past, not this far in the game. "Regulus, what's the point of this?" 

"Do you really hate me that much?" The younger brother stared at Sirius, shaking his head. "I know you didn't like our roots, but I never..." 

"You were a Death Eater! You killed people!" Sirius shouted, his hands flying into the air. When Regulus had gotten the mark, that had been the final straw for Sirius, and he hadn't spoken to his brother since. To be honest, Sirius didn't even know the real circumstances of his death.

"So did you," Regulus said softly, looking down. "But you let it go. You didn't think about the people you were killing. You didn't blame yourself. You blamed yourself for other things that you could not really control."

Sirius bristled, "I had a say in my friends' deaths! I could have stopped it if I hadn't been so goddamn stupid." 

"The universe has a plan, Sirius. Whoever died, you wouldn't have been able to stop it. You need to let that go too," Regulus stood, staring intently at his brother. "Let your friends go like you let Mother go, like you let me go." 

Sirius sank to his knees on the pristine platform, bowing his head. No matter how much he hated his family, his brother had never done anything to him, not at first. When Regulus was born, it had never occurred to Sirius that he could have been different. Everybody but himself was wrong. "I can't," he choked out, "I'm sorry." 

"You can," Regulus let his hand fall on his brother's shoulder, "You will." 

The sound of a train could be heard echoing in the distance, only minutes away. "How?" Sirius croaked.

Regulus bent down to his brother's ear, his voice only a whisper, "We forgive you. Now forgive yourself." 

"I..." He thought of Conner and James and and his mother and Marlene. It's all going to be okay. 

The Hogwarts Express rolled into the station, steam clouding the air. One of the entrances to the train opened. Sirius looked up at it, taking deep shaky breaths. He rose one leg at a time, pulling his brother into a hug. "I am sorry, Reg."

"I know," the younger brother smiled, pulling away. "It's time." 

"What do I do? Where is it going to take me?" A hint of fear could be heard in Sirius' voice, but he still stood steady. 

"That depends on you," Regulus said, slapping Sirius on the back. 

He nodded slowly and was about to step on the train when one final memory came back to me. "Wait! Before I fell, I felt someone falling with me..." Horror began to paint itself on his features, "Did I drag Harry with me?" 

Regulus slowly shook his head, "That was me. I was bringing you to heaven, protecting you. That's whats brothers do." A soft smile lifted Regulus' lips, but Sirius felt tears in his eyes. 

Sirius turned back to the train and stepped on, ready to find his own place in the cornucopia called Heaven. As the train pulled away, Regulus swore that he could have heard the laughter of the four Marauders through the window, but he'd never know for sure. All anybody knew was that in the end, everything was going to be okay.


End file.
